Brush (II)

I draw a line somewhere...

It's weird... Like I did this.

Hmm...

I don't remember when.

Or why, right?

Right...

Like a dream...

No, a nightmare.

Yes, that's it, that's what it was. All this time it was just a nightmare, a thing that I couldn't escape. Yet I forgot about it.

But why?

But why?

I don't understand, I mean, look at me... Why is this, this? Why am I asking these questions?

We all have problems, like that chip on your shoulder. Chip, chip, chip, look at me, I'm a chip. And now what? We're all problems bundled as humanitarian cases... Wild, dumb and dumber...

Who did this offend? Whose problem is it anyway?

Mine?

No? Yes? Yours... Yes, yours... It should be...

Should it be? I have no idea... This is rubbish, when there's nothing to do, nothing to control, nothing to save anything.

Then why am I asking this? What's the point?

Point.

Yet I'm rambling.

What was my point?

A problem, there has to be a problem, an idea, a something.

Gripping. Tight. Suffocating. Thought provoking. Something different. Something magical.

So, can I get some help? I would really appreciate some help. I mean, you can hear it, can't you? That voice.

What does it say?

What does it say? Hmm...

I say...

I said... I mean... There is something wrong.

That's the problem... Isn't it? I get confused easily. If it's not right, it's wrong, it's not for me, it's not for you, and if it's for someone, then is it wrong? I don't get it anymore. Why do I care? Why does anyone care? How do we care? When it doesn't have anything to do with any of us... Yet it impacts us all... It's stupid.

Extremely...

Extreme! That's it... Like everyone's the worst, the best, the Hitler, the savior of the world. It's tiring...

I'm sleepy...

But the nightmares...

Yes, the nightmares...

Which is worse?

Worse?

Between the open eyes or the closed ones...

Worse... Are both, equally... 

Dread... That's the word I was looking for. Looming for...

Artistic, again...

Idiotic, maybe. There is no artistry involved in my...

My? Where was I going with this? I had something to say... Like it was wrong. Like it bothered me when I thought... Think, say, do?

Ha! Do... Wrong, again.

I know...

It's weird...

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Sketch (I)

I draw upon blood...

It was once, I think... Where I was really pleased with what I had become. A rare moment... We all have them, I think... 

But, that's not the point. Because I have a question, why is this happening? 

I have no idea, so if you can enlighten me... Please, do so. If you want context, I can give you that too... You see, I have this pain in my back. It really aches, and I don't know what it says. It's something else. Something like a cross, a burden, memories, regrets or dementia. At this point I'm not sure either. 

As I was saying, there is something that draws me in pins, holds me tight and has me in limbo. Poetic, right? It's this mind thing that keeps bothering me again... 

I have a lapsus, how do you call it? 

Doesn't matter. Talking about poetry, it's something along the lines of a poem. Or a tragedy... Not sure though. 

But back to the thing I was complaining about... 

I don't have an answer. 

When you, yes...

You... 

When you are a nothing, doesn't that make me nothing too? And if you're anything, that means... I'm something too. Right? 

No, that's not how it should work... Right? 

It's weird, I know... 

But, back to my problem... 

If I... 

No... 

That... 

No... 

It won't work... 

That's not how it works...

But isn't it beautiful?

I suppose... Suppose, right?

Hmm... Maybe, if it wants to be. If...

Funny word...

Truly... Like... That mind thing...

Smart? Yeah... Smart...

Funny, indeed... But...

Intelligence...

Yes, yes... Funnier... That is funnier... Intelligence... Aren't I intelligent?

Oh...

Hmm...

What was I talking about? What was I about?

I can't remember...

Oh, my mind thing... Right...

But which was it, again?

The pain... That's how you say it... I think...

Pain... Right... That limbo thing too...

Limbo... Paradox?

Hypocrisy?

Mr. Intelligent over here...

I need an answer...

Maybe that's the answer...

Those maybes...

Can't stand them...

Right... Well, whatever... I need the help...

It was once, I think...

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